First off, sorry for the no post last week. I was sick the first half of the week and worked overtime the second half to make up the hours I had missed. All of that equaled a very tired and brain-dead Caitlyn, so no post. I’m trying to get ahead of the game so I can schedule posts in advance so that there will be something every week, but it’s still very much a work in progress.
Something that’s I’ve been thinking a lot about lately is the importance of organization and planning. Every so often, I get this rush of frustration with my life and my lack of control over it and decide I’m going to change. I’m going to use a planner/calendar to keep track of my appointments and to do’s. I’m going to keep my apartment clean and follow a cleaning schedule. I’m going to be productive and write every day, and exercise, and so on and so on. Inevitably though, I always end up back in my old habits.
It makes me wonder why I do this. Intellectually, I know the importance of being organized and planning my life and time. I’ve even seen it work during the times I felt I was organized and on top of things. So why don’t I live my life this way? Here are some thoughts I had on why this is so.
1. The start up is really hard
When you feel like everything around you is out of control (even if it’s not) it’s not easy to know where to start. And even when you do decide where to start, you have to figure out a system that will work for you, start living that system, and keep it up. That’s not easy. And every time you slip back into your old ways, it’s often tempting to just throw up your hands and give up because it’s too hard.
2. Habits are hard to break
It doesn’t matter what it is. Maybe it’s a habit of spending too long online. Maybe it’s a habit of not doing the dishes. Maybe it’s a habit of thinking you can remember everything you have to do so you don’t have to write it down. Whatever the habit is, it’s an engrained response or way of thinking in your mind. A worn path, if you will. There are times when I get on my computer to write or do my finances or something non-internet related and I’ll discover myself automatically opening my web browser. For a time, that became a habit. If I was on my computer, I was on the internet. It’s not easy to create a new path and not keep going down the old one.
3. It’s hard to learn that change is a process and takes time
This is the one I struggle with the most, I think. I want to change, but I want it to happen NOW. I don’t want to go through the cycle of trying and failing before finally succeeding. I don’t want to wait the days, weeks, or even months that it will take to create these new habits and get my act together. I just want the magic pill that will fix everything.
All of these things make it really hard to get my act together. But they can be overcome. The thing is, there is no magic pill. There is only time, hard work, failure, picking myself up again, and moving forward again. It’s the only way there is to be able to create these habits of being organized and planning things instead of just flying by the seat of my pants all the time. It can be done, and I can do it.
Change is a process. It takes time. It takes effort. But in the end, it’s worth it. So take that first step. I am.
Random Thoughts from Caitlynville 